That Phone Call

I got that phone call again today...

Computer: Do not be alarmed. There is nothing wrong with your account. However, this is this is your last chance to take advantage of lower interest rates on your credit card. This will be your final notification. Press "1" now to speak with an account representative.

(I press "1")

Person: Are you calling about our lower interest rate offer?

Me: No, I'm actually not calling. You called me about my account. Which account are you referring to?

Person: So you are not calling about a lower interest rate on your account?

Me: Which account?

Person: On your credit card.

Me: Oh, are you my credit card company? Which one are you?

Person: Huh?

Me: What is the name of your company?

Person: We're offering a better interest rate on your credit card.

Me: Great, what interest rate are you offering me?

Person: Well, first I'll need to get some information from you. Let's start with your name.

Me: Oh, I'm not going to give you any information.

Person: Sir, I will need to ask you some questions to complete your application.

Me: What application?

Person: For your lower interest rate.

Me: I'm not applying for anything. You're either offering me a lower rate or you're not. 

Person: Sir, I don't understand why you called us if you don't want to fill out an application by phone.

Me: I didn't call you. You called me.

Person: Sir, I'm afraid I can't process your application unless you can provide me with some information about you.

Me: Excellent! The computer that called me said this was my final notification.

Person: Yes, sir.

Me: Do you promise?

Person: Uhhhh, yes, sir.

Me: Good. Because that's the same thing it said last week and the week before. I'm glad this will be the last call.

Person: I do apologize for that.

Me: Thank you very much. I'll talk to you next week. Bye.

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It's not so much that I mind the phonecalls - I actually will talk to everyone that calls (surveys, market research, political polls, policeman's ball fundraisers, etc.) - it is the shadiness of this particular operation. I do not like that they purport to be one of my financial institutions. I do not like that they ask for sensitive information over they phone on a call they initiate. I do not like that claim each call will be the last, yet continue to call back. I do not like that the humans I get transferred to have such poor command of the English language (though many are native speakers; I deliberately made the phone rep above speak very politely and properly so the phonetic interpretation of the conversation did not distract from the content.)

I used to simply hang up. Now I try to waste as much of their time as possible so they don't bother you.

And... Again!

Another 450 points were shed today, bringing the two-day selloff to 10%.

For the record, I really do hope that our elected officials can develop policies and legislation that serves to strengthen our economy, our security and our quality of life. And I don't care who gets the credit. 

So This is "Hope"?

Exit polls showed the economy was the number one issue on voters' minds when selecting a candidate. Presumably they voted accordingly.

The stock market was down 500 points Wednesday in the first trading session after the election.

Just an observation.

Mmmmm, Gas

A couple of months ago we took "A Long Drive" out to Timothy Lake to look for a GPS treasure for the Mt. Hood Territory geocache contest. On our way home we passed through Sandy and got caught in a big traffic backup around the Arco gas station in the middle of town. There were news vans and even a chopper flying overhead filming all of the activity. Turns out both the cars and the news people were all there because they were selling fuel for $2.99/gallon as a publicity stunt. "Gas Under $3.00" was the lead in on the 6-o-clock news.

I filled up the Jeep for less than $50 for the first time in at least a year. $2.44/gallon with my Fred Meyer Rewards card. That alone could spell a small economic recovery package, I think. That's $30 less than I was paying just a few weeks ago, which essentially $30 extra in my pocket, since I would have spent $80 were it not for the dropping prices.

Last night we drove out to see the Pypers in their new house and saw unleaded for $2.30/gallon at the Safeway in Molalla - less with your Club Card.

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One of my business school professors at hyper-eco-PSU tried to convince me that it was my environmental responsibility as a human being to drive a bio-diesel. Tell me, if that one guy - you know the one with all of the bumper stickers - if that one guy is buying up all of the vats of used cooking grease to make bio-diesel for his slug bus, what are the rest of us supposed to do? Buy new vegetable oil from Costco at $7.99/gallon? For a business professor he definitely lacked a basic understanding of capitalism: the market will develop/produce products that it can sell for a profit; meaning mass-market appeal at a competitive price. The fuel savings on many hybrids doesn't even offset the higher purchase price over the average life expectancy of the vehicle. 

Now, I'm all for alternative fuel vehicles - hybrids, electrics, solar, etc. - as long as they don't cost me more at the car lot (which they currently do), more to operate, or look like a Jetson-mobile. Somebody will eventually stumble upon the right formula for mass-market success, and my guess is sooner than later. They will figure out how to produce vehicles at a competitive price and with comparable features and performance. They will figure out how to power them in an environmentally friendly and economically efficient manner. Meanwhile, over the course of the next 10-20 years while that technology is worked out and the infrastructure is built, I'd rather be paying $2.00/gallon than $4.00 for the vehicles I already own. And it's not like gasoline is going to disappear from the marketplace overnight either. It will take many years for the market to replace our dinosaur-powered rides with something better. As alternative-fuel vehicles grow their share of the market, I expect traditional fuel prices will plummet like last year's fashions.

Here's hoping the supply/demand curve continues to shift in our favor as we all change our driving habits and supplies improve.

Shelf Reliance

Ever since we went to the dry-pack for the first time we've had a problem: How to store all of those boxes. We've got the space for them. but keeping the #10 cans in their six-pack cases was not working for us - too much shifting and restacking whenever we needed to find a particular item.

Enter Shelf-Reliance

Surely by now you have seen these heavy-duty canned food racks from Shelf-Reliance. They look awesome. They are industrial strength with retail-style features, most notably how they allow you to rotate your food so that you're always using the oldest stuff first so you don't get stuck with a 20 year-old can of nastiness. FIFO, or "first in, first out," is the accounting term for this type of inventory management system.

There are several different setups, but the one I've had my eye on for the past couple of years is the Harvest 72" #10, denoting it's six foot height and that it stores #10 cans. In fact each unit holds 112 #10 cans. A big 'BUT' - each unit retails for $460! Yowsers! Occasionally I find a discount code for $75 off, $100 off, or free shipping. I even came really close to placing an order at one point.

I hesitated because I was considering additional details like where to put them in the garage and how many racks I would need just to store all of the cans I already had in boxes, in addition to the non-trivial price. 

The only place that made sense to put the racks was in the same place I intended to build a workbench. So...

- A trip to Home Depot

- 15 2x4s

- 3 4x4s

- a bunch of 5/16" hex bolts, washers, nuts and nails

... and, viola!

My self-shelf-reliance holds 231 #10 cans (a bit more than twice as many as the Harvest 72" #10). It cost less than $100 in materials. I would have needed to buy two Harvests ($920) to equal the storage capacity I built for $100. Plus, my homebrew Harvest is more practical for me. I sized it such that it is the same height as my table saw, allowing me to use it as a workbench/outfeed table. When loaded up with food, it is also very heavy which makes for a nice sturdy work surface. 

The dimensions are approximately eight feet wide by three and a half feet deep by however high to the top of my table saw. This allowed for three levels of cans, seven cans deep and eleven across (3 x 7 x 11 = 231). I had orginally envisioned four levels of cans, which would have increased capacity by 77 cans, but I decided the value of having it match the height of my table saw was worth more to me. Like the rack from Shelf Reliance, the rails on mine are slightly angled so that the cans roll to the front. Like the rack from Shelf Reliance, my system employes FIFO inventory management, with the ability to load cans from the back of the unit.

I still need to add the table surface, and there is plenty of room directly underneath the suface for drawers and a woodworking vise, which I intend to add at some point in the not-too-distant future.

Perhaps the best part is that my system holds all of my current inventory, with some capacity left unused. It is easy to see exactly how much we have of particular item, and use that information to determine the amount we still need to acquire. I take that back - the best part is that Sara actually likes it and doesn't think (not anymore, anyway) this project was a waste of time. I take that back again - the best part is that we can now walk all the way around the car when it is parked in the garage now that the boxes of food are out of the way. Ah, nevermind. I think the first one really is the best. Organization has a way of making a person feel in control of things. I won't be blindsided with surprise about what I have or don't have in my dry-pack inventory.

Good Boy

Madison has been working to develop Karsten's language skills for a couple of months now. She interprets his various noises into complete sentences to help us understand what he is trying to say. One of the first "words" she claims to have taught him is "dada" because that is one of the sounds he makes as he babbles. Well, she did work with him to tone it down on the repetition, to just say "dada" instead of "dadadadadadadada". 

Madison and Brookie have been trying to convince Sara that Karsten is now capable of talking, but she wasn't buying it. "He's just making sounds," she'd say. Meanwhile, Sara has been desperately trying to get Karsten to say "mama". 

So tonight as Sara was feeding Karsten just before bedtime - Karsten always gets silly with giggles and noises during this time - Sara once again tried to steer his babbling into a "mama". I was sitting nearby on the couch. As usual Karsten wouldn't do it. Sara tried again, "mama". No response. One more try, then Karsten tilted his head all the way back so that he could look at me and said, "dada" and smiled really big.

As of Oct. 28th, 2008 and much to her chagrin, Sara finally accepted that Karsten really has learned and said his first word. The actual date was probably August 28th, but today is the day that will be recorded in official Wilcox family historical records: the scrapbook.

"Jack"-o-Lantern

I have never really liked carving pumpkins for Halloween. Pumpkins, to me, are slimy and smelly and the act of dealing with them in their non-pie state makes me less inclined to consume their 8" round offspring - even when topped generously with Cool Whip.

But, parenthood demands tremendous sacrifices for the childrens' sake. Madison and Brooklyn promised to help scoop out the guts if I would make them a jack-o-lantern. 

Grandpa and Grandma Wilcox came over to help out. Grandma helped by finding the most artistically complex design ever conceived and then selling the girls on it. It was some kind of pirate-ty skull with snakes and flames and smoke and fog, and called for Michelangelo-like skill in order to remove all of the pumpkin that didn't belong in the sculpture. I had to put my foot down. We Googled for some other ideas and found one we liked a lot that wasn't too difficult.

I mentioned in an early post that the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland gets completely redesigned during the holidays (Halloween through New Year's) based on Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Christmas" - a movie we have not yet seen. However, the image we found looked a lot like the pumpkin-head guy from that movie/ride. We're pretty sure his name is "Jack".

One flame didn't cut it so we overclocked it with three tea candles.

I was pleasantly surprised with the results and may have another go at it next year.

Two Free iPods

Several years ago a new Internet business model emerged. It is the model that allows consumers to receive free products by completing offers from third party merchants and signing up "friends" underneath you to do the same. The free products, at that point in time, included things like golf clubs, an LCD monitor and, my choice, an iPod.

Freeipods.com was the site I felt comfortable with. I chose a two week trial membership from Blockbuster's DVD rent-by-mail program. The service was quite a bit slower than the Netflix service we already subscribed to, so I cancelled it. My obligation was complete. Blockbuster paid freeipods.com some amount of money for the chance to earn my business.

Then I needed to find five other people to sign up and complete one offer apiece. After that I would qualify for my free iPod. I quickly got my brother and mom to sign up, more out of sympathy than anything. I don't know that either of them ever really intended to try for their own iPod. My third person took a little bit of work. My brother-in-law was not interested, but had mentioned it to his brother-in-law who, with a little bit of incentive ($$$), signed up. Incidentally, he wound up doing a whole bunch of these things and got tons of free gear (PSP, GameCube, etc.). At that point I had three people and the end looked attainable. However, I had exhausted all of the people I knew that I felt comfortable exploiting. I didn't want to ask coworkers, friends, neighbors or other acquaintances. There was still a very good chance that the whole scheme was a hoax, and a lot of people believed that. Me - I was willing to take a chance. I took precautions like setting up a new, generic, web-based email account to use for the program.

I resorted Craigslist to find my last two people. My posts kept getting flagged and removed because some people didn't read my ad thoroughly to understand what I was offering. My ad basically said I would pay them for their time and risk of completing an offer for me. I had a small, but steady stream of curious responses, but had to keep raising the ante until it was substantial enough to persuade two people to participate. I PayPal'ed the money to them and submitted my completion to freeipods.com. A few weeks later - a brand new, free, $300 iPod arrived at my door via FedEx. Mine wasn't entirely free due to the bribes I had to pay, but it was still a steal of a deal. My iPod was the white 20 GB, monochrome model, and I was very happy with it.

Jump ahead to a couple of months ago. Sara's new office was hosting an open house to introduce themselves to the new neighborhood. They wanted music and Sara was put in charge of it. We'd do this all the time at home when we were hosting some type of gathering - create a playlist on the iPod then plug it into the whole-house speaker system. Everything was great at the open house until "someone" decided to set the iPod in a precarious and insecure position high atop one of the speakers that were brought in for the event. Apparently iPods aren't designed to withstand a six-foot drop onto concrete.

That same week I got a solicitation in the mail from KeyBank. It was offering a free 4GB iPod nano to new customers that opened a checking account and met certain transactional requirements. I saw no downside. It wouldn't cost me to open or maintain the account. And I was going to use the specified banking services anyway, whether it was through Key or my regular bank. In other words, aside from jumping through a few hoops, the impact to me would be extremely small.

So, all online, I transferred $500 to Key to open a new account. The offer stipulated that I needed to make one point-of-sale purchase using the debit card. That was easy enough. Additionally, I needed to transact any two direct deposits or two electronic payments or one of each. I wasn't prepared to change my direct deposits to Key, but the electronic payments was a piece of cake. Normally I use BillPay, exclusively, to pay bills. Key wanted me to provide my payees with my account information and have the payee draft the money from my account. That was okay with me. I picked two non-critical bills that offered that payment option and set them up. 

That was it. I just had to do those three things before the end of October to meet the requirements of the offer. The Terms and Conditions stated that my iPod would be shipped within 90 days of the end of the promotion. I set a mental timeline of the first of the year. Just a few days after completing the three requirements, the Manager of the local KeyBank called me to let me know I had qualified for the iPod and could expect to receive it by November 5th. Sweet! 

In the meantime, Apple announced upgrades to their entire iPod product line. The nano got a redesign, memory increase, and a larger video screen, in addition to several software changes. I figured beggars can't be choosers, and if I was happy with the old nano a month ago, I should still be happy with it; and I was.

On October 1st I got an email from FedEx advising me that my iPod was being shipped that day and to expect it on October 3rd, our last day in town before leaving for Disneyland.

The tiniest of packages arrived around mid-day. It was literally inside a small bubble-wrap-lined yellow envelope. Much to my delight, they sent me the latest and greatest. Instead of 4GB, I got 8. I got the larger video screen. It even has an "excelerometer" inside that responds to movement and orientation (Want to mix up the songs? Shake the iPod like a Polaroid picture.) And I got it a full month sooner than promised and four months sooner than I had originally expected. And I've diversified my banking servicers just a smidgen.

Sara is forgiven.

Student Becomes the Master

Like a lot of kids, Brookie has long had issues with hitting. She hits walls, toys, legs, Madison, herself, Karsten, and anything else within arm's length. I'm getting pretty tired of dealing with it.

Yesterday she hit Madison and made her cry. Madison cries until someone acknowledges that she is crying, and then she stops. Frustrated that time-outs, spankings, removal of privileges and banishment to the garage are failed strategies, I asked Madison, "Why don't you hit her back and see how she likes it?"

Madison started crying even harder, "No, no. I won't do it!"

"Why not? Maybe she'll learn to stop hitting you if she knows what it feels like."

"But Heavenly Father wouldn't be happy if I hit her back."

She's only five, yet she has already buried her weapons. Then there's dad, encouraging her to slug her little sister.

Princess Renaissance

We were at a barbeque recently where a little girl showed up in a Cinderella dress. I've long been fascinated with the gradual, yet sudden, emergence of the Disney Princesses as a leading brand within the Disney empire. Like an old, dilapidated heirloom furniture piece, Disney has been able to dust off, clean up, repair and reintroduce many of their princesses as modern and hip. In conjunction with that, they have developed new princesses of the same mold to join forces with their predecessors and create the now familiar Disney Princesses. It's Voltron for little girls - and we've got the backpacks, coloring books and pajamas to prove it. It's to the point that the movies and merchandise has no real theme or story other than the fact that they include two or more princesses on a given product. 

Snow White was the first. Then came Cinderella and Aurora. Each of them had to stand on their own. In modern times, the new lineup saw the addition of Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine. It was all about the movie, the message. "Someday my prince will come." "A dream is a wish your heart makes." (Uh oh!) Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Miracles cease to be miracles at midnight local time. Love conquers all. A kiss from a stranger can raise the dead. Wait until the day AFTER the expiration date on the evil sorceress' curse before coming out of hiding. 

Then, some genius recognized the assets Disney already had. They didn't need to, and probably couldn't (see Mulan, Pocahontas) keep churning out new heroins with each successive animated feature. By packaging the top six princesses together, making them friends of each other, aligning their historical time lines, ages, and locations so that they can all exist in our present day, Disney has created a all-star team for girls. In the process, the new princesses have given face lifts to the original princesses and, in turn, the originals have provided instant street cred to the new ones. We are judged by who are friends are. Well, Jasmine's friends are Cinderella and Aurora, so Jasmine must be of pretty high caliber herself. Snow White hangs out with Hot Belle, so she must be sophisticated and modern, too. I would argue that the original princesses have earned their almost mythological celebrity by withstanding the test of time, but were fairly simple characters in their films. The new princesses are much more complex, but relied on the reputations of their fore bearers to quickly vault them into rock-star status.

It all comes down to merchandising. There are a few extreme people that obsess over a particular subject. People that collect everything with a cat on it, or Star Wars. There's a commercial running right now about a Pittsburgh Steeler fan with a room in his house where everything is Steeler-branded, except the table lamp. In the Disney realm there are a few people that collect Mickey Mouse stuff and flaunt it. I think in most cases we would view those people as outliers - not the norm.

But in the case of the Disney Princesses, Disney has positioned the brand as mainstream. They've made it acceptable and actually normal for every girl to obsess. Every other girl at Disneyland has a princess dress on. Entire shops and restaurants are exclusively devoted to them. There are series of DVD based on their collective star power. The nightly parade is designed around their popularity. New attractions, shows, and ice-capades are based on their joint stardom. There is even a closed circuit television channel at the resorts that runs all-princesses, all the time programming. There is also a "Dream Suite" contest where someone can win a night's stay inside a princess castle-like hotel suite inside of Disneyland (It is located directly above Pirates of the Caribbean.)

At our house we've got board games, toys, DVDs, storybooks, clothes, hats, shoes, pajamas, pillows, stickers, coloring books, chairs, jackets, jewelery, dolls, costumes, crowns, and wands, all with "Disney" and "Princess" marked somewhere on them. I'd really like to think that my girls aren't as odd as some of the other obsessive aggregators of themed items. Maybe they are and we're facilitating that behavior. 

At lease we already know and accept that we are suckers. We decided early on that we would allow this obsession as long as the girls were only cuckoo for one thing. We don't have Barbie or Care Bears or My Little Pony. We're exactly the kind of people Disney is looking for - chasing look-a-likes all over Disneyland for their signature instead of riding rides, paying Ariel's Grotto prices for lunch, watching the princess channel every waking hour even though it repeated the same 10 minute program all day long, and spending an entire half day standing in line at the Princess Faire all for the right to shop at the Princess Store.